How Tinder Has Revolutionized Dating

     

       It has become quite common for relationships to form off popular dating apps, so I do feel that it’s been normalized somewhat for our generation.  I still feel it may be awkward to say, for a lot of people, especially if one of your older relatives ask, “So how did you guys meet?”.  You may be afraid of their response because they have only experienced conventional dating before a revolution occurred recently in the digital age.  Tinder came out in 2012 and Bumble since 2014.  There were more online dating websites that I remember being around before that, but I was too young at this time to use these things.  I feel like I saw only middle-aged people using these websites(ex:// eHarmony, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, etc.).  Most of these may have become dating apps, but are not as popular today as Tinder or Bumble have become for the younger generation.

What these apps revolutionized in their design to “match” you with any profile that attracts you, is the ease in just one right swipe.  These apps have also normalized a new type of hook-up culture that many people participate in, especially those from ages 18-30. CNN even reports that according to Nancy Jo’s article, Tinder and the Dawn of the ‘Dating Apocalypse’, apps like Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid have created an unbelievably easy marketplace for casual sex.  I feel that most people that use or have used the app can agree that this is 100% accurate.  With one swipe you can match with someone that you find attractive because they find you attractive too.  It’s a flattering game that inevitably helps our egos, and is fast paced.  It becomes something we will use when we need to pass the time.

      I feel that, that’s why it has become a little awkward for our generation to admit that they have met their significant other off tinder.  When it was released, I feel that people would be more tempted to lie about how they met their significant other because it was seen as such a weird way of meeting people after years of traditional dating styles that have been only exchanged face-to-face for years prior to the digital age.  Now I feel it may be awkward because apps like Tinder have become the breeding ground for many meaningless one-night stands.  The problem with this, is it is a broken system.  People need to be honest with each other about their intentions in order to come to a common agreement on what they are looking for.  Sometimes different types of relationships form rather than just a one night stand.  You may hook up with this person once and both agree to meet again, or even become friends with benefits.  Some may even go past that and start to date and form a relationship.  Some have even gotten married from meeting off of Tinder.  This may seem like a good thing, but it has left a lot of room for different options of what kind of relationship you want with the person you meet offline.  One person may want exclusivity with a person they are consistently hooking up with, meanwhile this person may want to keep things how they are and may even be doing it with multiple different people.

        I feel that this has become the problem since there has been a revolutionary change in the way we meet and interact with those we are attracted to.  Meeting online has become just as common as meeting someone you interact with and both find to be interested in each other face-to-face.  Although it has been a helpful tool for many it could confuse and complicate a lot of relationships, or one night stands, that form from online dating apps.  I feel that an easy solution to this problem is both parties being honest with each other about what their intentions are on the app and what they are looking for with their matches.  Being specific about this can save the awkward confusion that may occur.

They said what??? The Ethics of Deepfakes

Can you believe Obama said this? 😮

In reality, it wasn't Obama, it was comedian and director Jordan Peele making some satire while also spreading awareness about Deepfakes use to spread fake news.

What is Deepfake?

According to BBC news, a Deepfake is "The term deepfake is now generically used by the media to refer to any video in which faces have been either swapped or digitally altered, with the help of AI - a bit like how people use the brand names Kleenex or Hoover to refer to any tissue or vacuum cleaner." Lucky for us Most deepfakes are used as a way to entertain us.

Entertainment Value of Deepfakes

Most people are using Deepfakes for either repacing actors in films with more unusual actors, like putting Steve Buscemi's face on Sharon Stone's body in the movie Killer Instinct. Which is very unsettling seeing Steve Buscemi flash you in that one scene in the movie. But what the more frequent use of Deepfakes is where the ethics of this program come into place.

Unethical uses for Deepfakes

Forbes did an article about how Deepfakes are used to make nonconsensual porn of famous actors and actresses. They make a comment that "96% of those deepfake videos online can be categorized as "non-consensual" pornography; manipulating existing porn videos to appear to feature female celebrities. The top four deepfake porn sites were found to have had more than 134 million views of these videos that exclusively target women — some 99% of the deepfake videos targeted female celebrities from the acting and music professions. Without revealing the names of the victims, Deeptrace researchers reported that the top ten individuals most frequently targeted included three American actresses, three South Korean musicians, and two British actresses.". This calls into question about the ethical practices of the use of deepfakes in our society, with the hope we can get legislation passed on condemning the use of deepfakes in the use of pornography.

Tinder Box

Dating isn't going out with friends on a Friday night and meeting someone at the same bar as you anymore. It still happens, but the creation of apps like Tinder have changed dating. It introduces people who are not geographically nearby, it lessens the awkwardness of approaching someone in person, and the user is able to provide as much (or as little) information as they wish. 

However, just a simple google search will prove that Tinder may put people in dangerous situations. There are murder cases that started with a Tinder date. Multiple murder cases. Cases of assault that began with a date on Tinder are real as well. Suspects in crimes use Tinder as well to lure victims to them. Through deceit and catfishing, people are able to commit such crimes through the dating application. 

A lot of the commentary surrounding online dating and the dangers that may come from it revolve around women and how they can stay safe online. These tips are all the same: don't give out personal information, if you're meeting someone, stay in public and never leave your drink unattended. Some sites even give tips on how to escape a dangerous situation once it is too late to avoid it. Tinder has its own set of safety tips on the website, broken down into different categories, from meeting people to sexual health. 

Although the tips can be useful and might be useful, why are we focused on giving tips and creating Tinder dates gone wrong survival guides rather than finding and prosecuting the attackers? There are so many articles and newspaper postings about (specifically) women being attacked by Tinder dates or from ride-hailing applications, but there is a significant lower difference compared to the prosecution stories. Can we begin to break down the stigma surrounding sexual assault and supporting survivors of assault during the long and sometimes defeating legal battles of brining their abusers to justice? 

What do you think of all these cases? What are some ways that people can start breaking the stigma surrounding sexual assault and other kinds of assault?

Polyamory in contemporary romance as a possible effect of online-dating: Yay or Nay?

This week, we touched upon the impact of technology on our romantic relationships. The materials presented featured online dating as a recurring theme, along with many changes to contemporary dating practices compared to the past.

A documentary featured in our latest live-tweeting session called "Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age" talked at great lengths about how online dating platforms are skewering young people’s notion of social norm. The deviations featured include a transition from synchronous communication to asynchronous communication, deteriorating social skills, an increasing presence of conquest pride, and a shift towards polyamory.

Most concerning among said deviations from social norms, in my opinion, is the shift from monoamory towards polyamory. While there has been no official research on the matter, I think this is partly a result of conquest pride (remember that woman from the documentary? “The fruit on the top of the tree is the best fruit.”) and the existence of low-commitment hook-up cultures. The term “side bitches” was coined only among English-speaking countries within the last ten years, and has no equivalent in any other language far as I’m aware of. If you grew up in a culture in which hook-up dating sites are long ingrained, you may find my concerns baseless and far-fetched. However, you must have at least once wondered if the US’ high divorce rate is related to the presence of said polyamory?

As a matter of fact, try googling “Polyamorous dating sites” and watch in horror as more than 2.5 million results pop up in less than a second. Also, get this: according to theatlantic.com, OkCupid added a polyamorous feature for even MARRIED users 3 YEARS AGO! You guys may be unimpressed, but as someone from a very conservative culture, this was absolutely mind-blowing. Let me know what you guys think. Are you an advocate or a critic of this trend?

The famous digital self portrait

A selfie is a self photograph that is taken with a camera or smartphone. Selfies can be held with inventions like the selfie stick, if you want to get really crazy with it. They are shared on social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram.When did taking a selfie become a social norm in our society? I honestly cant remember when selfies weren't a thing on social media. Of course growing up, social media wasn't as popular but I would say middle school, for me is when social media started to come into play in our daily lives. Selfies have become popular with famous ones like the long selfie from the oscars or the one from the met gala with all of the celebrities in it. I find it funny when older people take selfies and actually know how to use a camera because half of the time older people with cell phones take embarrassing pics of themselves. For example, my father loves selfies. He loves to take pictures of himself in front of crazy backgrounds like when he travels, he has to take selfies in front of the crazy things he sees. The best selfies is when he takes them with my mom before their date nights. Seeing selfies while scrolling through social media is something that is not uncommon but I chuckle every time when its like someone I know's mom or dad. It seems like selfies are a relatively new thing but they have been around for a Yes,while, not with just taking a picture from your phone but in the 1800s and 1700s, rich people would hire people to come to their houses to paint portraits of themselves to hang up around their house. Yes, it's not the standard selfie that we know today, but it is very similar. Selfies have just become popular with the boom of social media within the last ten years I would say and will become more popular as people are always coming up with new ideas for the next best selfie.

Tinder is a weird place to meet someone who really likes your eyes

...but I did anyway.

I'll set the scene: it was October of my first year of college and as great as my classes and new friends were, I was a little lonely and figured I'd try my luck with foreign Tinder. I made an account and filled out my profile, writing and rewriting descriptions, making sure to use the "right" photos - in other words, photos that showed me having fun with friends but also photos of me by myself, because one of my pet peeves was when you can never tell who you're talking to because they have all group photos with the same friends on their profile and none by themselves - and to present myself as easygoing and fun. In her TED talk, Amy Webb mentioned the discrepancy between how she presented herself and how, as she eventually figured out, she "should" be presenting herself in order to get more matches; at first, I was confused by this, since I know that I personally had a pretty solid knowledge, even as an 18-year-old, of how to construct a theoretically-successful profile. The fact that she presented her talk in 2013 and had conducted her research in the mid-2000s gave me a little more background on her experience: since online dating (which later evolved to app/"swipe" dating) was less common than it is now, there was less of a guideline of expectations. I also had to remind myself that the difference in age groups was probably a factor, with people our age valuing our appearance (both in pictures and in the details we disclose about ourselves) more, just as our culture tells us we should, whereas people in Webb's age group probably value accomplishments more. Also, I think appearance matters much more in swipe dating, where people can judge you based on just a few pictures - or maybe just one picture, which is why this is at the forefront of our generation's minds as we swipe left and right and change our own profiles based on what we see and like and think is acceptable from others' profiles.

I know she seemed to be extremely picky, but I can relate to Webb's pickiness at least a little bit. Even though I knew Tinder was mainly a hookup app, 18-year-old me was still convinced that I'd be able to find someone who wanted more than a hookup, because that's what I wanted. At first, it was frustrating because it was mostly people wanting hookups, but as I went on I did discover a few who were looking for "something more." I started conversations with a few of them but didn't get much of a response from most of them, except one redhead who loved snakes and art and music. I liked the way our conversation was going, so we agreed to meet up.

The first meetup wasn't quite Webb's "disaster" date, but we were both incredibly and painfully awkward. I was red the whole time, he kept nervously asking if I was okay, and I was honestly a little relieved when the date was over. It wasn't that I didn't like him, it was more that we were playing off each other's nervousness. He still wanted to kiss me at the end of it, and because it was my first time dating anyone ever, I thought that wasn't quite the protocol and told him only on the cheek (everything I'd read had said that no one ever kissed on the first date). By the next few dates, we had gotten much less awkward with each other, although on the second date he wouldn't stop staring at my eyes and told me he really liked them - which continued throughout the whole relationship. Is an eye kink a thing?

Of course, he was a really nice guy and treated me well; he even met my dad, and I ended up meeting his whole family when I went home with him one weekend. Even so, thinking back on it I don't think I was quite ready. Between that and the fact that by early January, I had decided to leave Dublin and come here, I decided that I needed to break up with him. I think I was annoyed with him even over winter break, but since it was around the holidays, I didn't want to ruin his experience by breaking up with him by text or even by phone. The 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover reading only backed up my feelings about not breaking up this way: I didn't want to be "someone who texts this kind of information, and thus in [the other person's] mind behaves badly" (p. 21). I feel like anyone who has any kind of concern for the emotional state of others won't text this kind of information, or even say it over the phone unless distance proves it to be absolutely necessary.

So I waited. Not only did I wait until after Christmas and New Year's, but even after I got back, I waited until after his birthday (which is the same day as my dad's, so it was easy to remember). I waited until the week after his birthday - I did give him a birthday present, but I didn't text or talk to him much that week, and then asked him (admittedly over text) if we could go get coffee and talk. I explained to him that I planned to come back to the U.S. and that I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue our relationship and take it to long-distance. He was very understanding about it, and we parted on good terms. I still have a picture of him on my Facebook (I forget if it was ever on Instagram, but I have him tagged in photos that I didn't delete), and we're still friends on Snapchat. We haven't really stayed in touch, but we haven't cut the other out of our lives, and I hope at least some part of this amicability was due to me being a decent breaker-upper.

Are Fake Instagrams Bad??

Not too long ago in class, we spoke about identity and authenticity. When reading Personal Connections in the Digital Age by Nancy Baym, she explains the definition of identity “ …Identities are always social. They are displayed and reshaped through interaction” (p. 118). This was interesting to read about our identities, how they change, and all the different types.

            While looking through articles to talk about fake accounts and identities on social media I came across an interesting Fox News article. The Fox News article is called Teens are creating fake identities on Instagram called Finstas. Should we worry? by John Brandon. Initially, when I saw the article’s name I was interested because I never thought that Finstas could be seen as Fake identities. In class, earlier this semester in class we spoke about how we have different personas/identities on all the different social media platforms. This is because we cater to who is following us on every different platform like I would make posts on Facebook for my family about how I am doing in school, and then on my Instagram, I would post pictures geared more towards my friends.

            John Brandon who wrote the Fox News article explained why teenagers create Finsta’s “They experiment with alternate identities- for example acting like a jock and posting about their accomplishments before anyone else knows. Or they post about a new passion for screamo rock, but they are not ready to let everyone else know”. This statement was different from what I expected because all of my friends who have a Finsta use it to post about their life for their close friends in the most authentic way. Rather than their real Instagram where they wouldn’t post something like that.

            I’m not sure if this is a new wave from the younger generations that are using Finsta’s this way, but this isn’t what my friends use it for. Brandon also states that it could become a “much more serious problem on how teens perceive reality”. I don’t see it becoming a problem to be completely honest. I think that teenagers and young adults are using this platform to be more authentic online. Like I stated before identities change, and we have different personas for every situation we are in whether it is online or in real life. I don’t think it is detrimental to teenagers or anyone who has one. Unless they are using it as a fake account with a fake identity. Do you think that having Finsta’s are detrimental to teens? How do you use your Finsta? Do you think it is a good way to share more authentic posts with your close friends?

The Kardashian Effect

                 The Kardashians have dominated our media for over a decade now, since the release of Kim Kardashian(who was Paris Hilton's intern at the time)'s viral sex tape released in 2007.  Of course, the family can thank Robert Kardashian for their fame and wealth when he served as O.J. Simpson's defense attorney for one of America's biggest controversial cases in history.  This was only the beginning of the family's introduction into a life revolved around the media, with everyone watching them.  Added onto this, Bruce Jenner's introduction to the family helped their fame a lot too; being an olympic hero sometime ago.  Kim is now married to one of the most famous rappers of all time, Kanye West.  This famous family is known for being the sex symbols of America.  Keeping Up with the Kardashians has been a top-rated show on E! Entertainment since it first aired in 2010.  The show involves showing the daily lives and "issues" that occur within the Kardashian household.  Another way to look at it would be how the show emphasizes the astronomical wealth of these reality television celebrities.

A lot of people are angered by how much our society feeds into the Kardashians lives, making them more famous and wealthy by the second.  Society can deem them as ignorant as they want, but we are the ones that glorify them and find their stupidity and "rich people problems" entertaining.  I remember when my mom and I would watch it, both of us laughing at how stupid we thought the show was.  Meanwhile, were just giving them more network views.  We are conscientious  of how there is no value to our lives watching their show, but we can't seem to not find their lives entertaining to us.  I call this the, "Kardashian Effect"

The most recent example of us glorifying the Kardashians in a mocking way, is the viral video that has been prominent in the media for days now.  The video is around four seconds long, and simply shows Kylie Jenner turning on the light walking into her baby's room and singing very out of tune the three words "Rise and Shine".  Instantly, this video spread like wild fire through all social media platforms.  People made videos morphing the video, autotuning it and making it into memes that traveled the internet.  Its also become viral to make the "Rise and Shine" your alarm, including some tutorials that have become viral about how to do so. This occurred for only a week before Kylie Jenner announced that she would be selling merchandise branding it, "rise and shine" including clothing that had this viral saying on it.



We are the reason for the Kardashians wealth, even if we are mocking them.  The media has given so many famous people today power.  Some can say that we do not feed into the ignorance and lifestyles of the Kardashians, but in reality they are the ones that have power over our society.  According to Forbes.com, Kim Kardashian is rumored to make $200,000 per endorsement tweet. Imagine what their whole entire family makes collectively.  With their family doubling in size since every women in the Kardashian family has had one or more children.  How long will they carry out the Kardashian name in the media?

Have you ever heard of "dead-walkers"?

In today’s day and age, we miss so much going on around us, due to our heads constantly being down. According to the Washington Post, we have been named “digital dead-walkers”. When you are walking around campus, we see a whole lot of these people. “Dead-walkers” are the humans around us who have their eyes fixated on their phones while walking around. I am sure we are all guilty of this, whether we realize it or not. Even just walking around with your headphones in can be considered “dead-walking”. 

On the dangerous end, we hear a lot of incidents that involve texting and driving. In the article Eyes down, minds elsewhere, ‘dead-walkers’ are among us, by Ashley Halsey III, she states some astonishing facts about this idea. The article states, “But the fact that 3,154 people died and an estimated 424,000 were hurt in 2013 is evidence that a great many people are willing to ignore the advice to keep their attention on the road”(Halsey, 2015). This just happens to be texting and driving, but it is sad to see the amount of people who have died because of it. I beg everyone I know to take my advice when I say no texting and driving, because that is such a preventable accident. 

Although, texting and driving is huge, so is walking and texting. We never hear about an accident being the pedestrians fault, but of course sometimes unfortunately it is not all the drivers wrong doing. In the same article above, it is mentioned, “Some data suggests that at any given moment on the streets of America, 60 percent of pedestrians are distracted while walking, meaning either on the phone or doing something on their phone”(Halsey, 2015). Pedestrians are distracted to a new extent today. When our heads are fixated down at our phones, we don't always feel the need to pick our heads up and see if a car is coming. We tend to just think that since we are pedestrians, cars will stop for us. Although that is the case a lot of the time, there are many cases where the pedestrian has actually walked right in front of the car because they were distracted. 

I thought this topic was interesting because I could relate it to the video we watched in class, Our Mobile Lives. They spoke a lot about how texting and driving/walking is literally killing us. This documentary taught me more people are dying from texting and driving, than they are from drinking and driving. Texting and driving is illegal in about 39 states, but I believe it should be illegal in every state. This topic is something I hold close to my heart, due to losing a friend at age 15. Ever since then I have not stood for texting and driving but I know a lot of friends and family who don't think it is that bad. I am curious what everyone else thinks. 

What do you CM3945 think about texting and driving, as well as texting and walking? Are you a “dead-walker”? Do you see these “dead-walkers” everyday?

III, A. H. (2015, September 27). Eyes down, minds elsewhere, 'deadwalkers' are among us. Retrieved from
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/trafficandcommuting/eyes-down-minds-elsewhere-deadwalkers-are-among-us/2015/09/27/a3ad1da2-51bb-11e5-8c19-0b6825aa4a3a_story.html.

Stay Work Play NH

Today, Wednesday October 9th, was the Career Fair held in Plymouth State University’s Hartman Union Building. Students got a chance to dress up nice, print our resumes and speak to some recruiters from prospective companies for post graduation full time jobs. While exploring some of the companies my friends and I came across a company called, “Stay Work Play”. This company's mission as explained by the woman at the desk is that they aim to give people reasons to stay, work and live in New Hampshire. What I found interesting was that at the career fair they were not looking for prospective employees but actually sharing their multiple blogs, including one which lists jobs people would be willing to stay in the state for. She did something that no one else at the fair did, she had us follow her on Social Media. I found this to be a really interesting table that stood out today. They really wanted to get us as young, social media obsessed students, interested. The instagram includes beautiful birds eye views of the state, picturest fall foliage, fairs, railroads, major monuments, animals, and activities that can be done in our beautiful state. Along with all of these lovely photographs there was also links for jobs to be had. I found it very interesting that they use the fun stuff to lure us younguns in and then give job opportunities once that gets us thinking about logistics. It is in the title “Work Stay Play” that they are interested in motivating young people to do all three. I know that a lot of people you see coming to Plymouth state fall in love with it, get a job, and decide to never leave. I personally feel blessed everyday waking up in such a beautiful place but would still need some convincing to get to the point of wanting to stay here post graduation. As seniors and juniors here at Plymouth State University, have any of you guys thought about staying here for good? Do you think your decision has been made just by looking around at our campus and what the state holds beyond or do you need some millennial social media convincing?

https://stayworkplay.org/

Age of CHONK: Body Pawsitivity in Pets

The past couple of years of our media and culture, the beauty standard, was that if you were thin, you were beautiful. Now our current age of media, we have shifted significantly that you, as a person regardless of race, shape, size, are beautiful. This has also applied to our wonderful fur babies. Having small animals and nicely groomed animals with a reasonable weight was the norm of our culture. With our recent transition of beauty standards, it's also changed with our pets. There's been a community on the rise and taking over Instagram and other social media platforms.

The Age of CHONK

This community seemly grew overnight, thanks due to how fast memes spread through the internet. You might've seen this on circulate for a while on the internet.

The people that are in the CHONKY community came up with their own labels on classifying different sizes for their animals. It may seem like they are actually fat-shaming their poor Lil fur babies. But actually its terms of endearment! The Guardian did an article on @iambronsoncat on Instagram and other chonky kitties. They also interviewed the owners about Bronson.     

According to Bronson's owners, when he was first adopted by them, we weighed at 33 pounds, that's pretty chonky. But a year of a proper diet brought him down 10 pounds, which he's still considered a chonk, but he's a healthy chonk now.

The Guardian raises an apparent concern within the community that "about overfeeding and keeping a pet unhealthy for the sake of cuteness. While humans can decide if they are healthy at every size, animals cannot, nor do they have the ability to tell their owners if they need help.".  Mind you, some people out there might treat their animals poorly, but the more wholesome owners are leaving in their bios about details of their fur baby's weight loss journey like Bronson's current journey with becoming A Fine Boi.

The Future of Tech & Well Bring: Translating Concepts

This week we read The Future of Well-Being in a Tech-Saturated World by Janna Anderson and Lee Rainie (2018). To begin, the article states:

"A plurality of experts say digital life will continue to expand people’s boundaries and opportunities in the coming decade and that the world to come will produce more help than harm in people’s lives. Still, nearly a third think that digital life will be mostly harmful to people’s health, mental fitness and happiness. Most say there are solutions."

Our class used the course knowledge we've gained thus far in the semester to translate the article, containing information from 1,000+ media and tech experts, into a one-sheet appropriate and accessible for a high school student audience. What's a one-sheet? A one-sheet is a single-page document that showcases and promotes a specific idea. It includes the most pertinent information for a specific target audience and is designed to spark potential interest in the topic with a clear, concise, impactful message. These three one-sheets created by our class address the three overarching components of the article -- Technology as more Helpful, Technology as more Harmful, and Potential Remedies to Consider.

Media's Effect on our Daily Conversations

As I strolled through my facebook this morning I began to think about what I was looking at and how that affects what I think about during the day. For example yesterday, Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker put a four month ban on all vapes and vape products, and shit hit the fan. College kids like us are freaking out about where they are going to get their pods, some people who rely on marijuana for medical reasons are worried about what method they will switch too, some of my old high school teachers are in glory that they will not have to monitor bathroom use for clouds coming out from the stalls. In the midst of these posts I started thinking about not just what I was reading but also what I was no longer reading about. 

Everyone is on facebook posting about Juuls today. Some people are making political stances on how the government is reacting to vapes but not to gun laws which are killing people at a much larger rate. Some people are posting about the young girl, Greta Thunberg, who is doing extraordinary work to save our planet. But overall, I saw posts about vapes. And yesterday around campus most conversations there for were about vapes. From a Communication standpoint I had to think of this as a technical deterministic situation. The news is showing me vapes, so I am thinking about vapes and talking about vapes. I continued to stroll through my facebook, and today I did not see a single post about how ICE or Jeffrey Epstein’s evils which had been a huge part of my Facebook news feed until then. All it took was a social media blast to change what many of us where thinking and talking about both face to face and through other mediums. What do you think about how what media is presented to you changes your daily interactions?